Is now the time to focus on your relationship?
Your romantic relationship has a profound impact on the quality of your life. Translate your feelings of longing or unease into a focus on building relational skills for enhancing your experiences of trust, acceptance, care, intimacy, and affection.
How do we work together?
My approach is unique in a number of ways:
Process: It starts with understanding your priorities. Your priorities become the content of my process that integrates 3 complementary focus areas:
- Relational Needs – the common needs all people share for being in relationship
- Relational Skills – the capabilities and techniques that contribute to co-creating ‘healthy’ relationships
- Your Relationship Vision – a specific direction for what you want your relationship to be like in the future
Mindfulness: My approach incorporates mindfulness as a core relational skill. Mindfulness is a pre-requisite for self-connection, regulation of emotions, presence, and empathy. Partners hurt each other when they are not their best selves. When partners are triggered, it is difficult or impossible to employ the other relational skills. We all need a ‘toolbox’ to draw upon to notice when to pause and to return to a more balanced state.
Who is it for?
I focus on relationships. That work takes many forms, such as:
- Couples in crisis – I work with couples in crisis to unravel & repair years of resentment, mistrust, and hurt.
- Couples who are comfortable in their relationship – I work with couples who need support to unlock the potential in their relationship for greater intimacy, connection, understanding, and growth.
- Individuals in relationship – If your partner is not available or not interested at this time, I work with you individually. When you show up differently, key dynamics in your relationship will shift. No matter the direction of your current relationship, the skills we will practice together will serve you well for the rest of your life.
- Individuals after a breakup – Breakups can be painful. After a breakup, I support you in grieving the loss of the relationship, clarifying what’s important to you in future relationships, and learning from the patterns in your previous relationships (including this most recent one). We work together so you have much more clarity about what you want and are much more prepared to co-create mutually-satisfying relationships.
- Couples at the start of a long term committed relationship – A great place to start is … at the beginning. For couples just starting out, I offer pre-marital coaching. Pre-marital coaching focuses on exploring the typical arc of a long term relationship, viewing your relationship through the lens of mutual relational needs, and practicing the skills to work together as a strong team, to support each other, and to prevent disconnection & resentment.
- Couples who have decided to uncouple – I work with couples who have decided to end their romantic relationship with as much mutuality, kindness, and care as possible.
When you’re upset …
– you’re more likely to say or do something unkind
– you’re more likely to say or do something that you don’t mean or will regret
– you’re more likely to do the same things you tend to do that have contributed to where you are in your relationship now
Pausing when you’re upset empowers you to choose, not to react. Easier said than done, right?!? I provide a brief snapshot of how to practice and develop the skill of pausing
Coaching sessions for couples are tailored for what’s most important in your relationship right now. What’s most relevant depends on whether you’re in a relationship that is struggling or making a good one even better. The common theme is that I work with you both to learn & practice skills for intimacy, compassion, connection, and support so together you can meet what the future holds.
Coaching for individuals depends on whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.
If you’re in a relationship now, maybe your partner is not ready or willing to participate at this time. I focus on what you can do to show up differently with skills that shift your current relationship and prepare you with the resilience & strength for whatever the future holds.
Being single is the perfect time to grow and explore what you want. Coaching sessions focus on healing & learning from past relationships, and growing the skills to partner wholly with another person.
Programs and Workshops
Often there is value in attending workshops with others or to invest in a self-directed program. Workshops and programs can be stand-alone or a complement to coaching. Workshops provide opportunities to learn from other participants. Self-directed programs can be a cost-effective option, empower you and your partner with the tools of a step-by-step course, and they give you an easy way to get to know me and how I may be of service to you. Programs and workshops are being offered all the time. Contact us if you’d like recommendations specific to your situation and needs.